notes from down undah

rebel and jeffrey have made it to australia. and with inferred permission [insert grin], i am putting them up for all to read. for those not in the know, R.B. stands for Rat Bastard which stands for "I love you."

[note to reb: thank you for the great email. i wish -- quite seriously -- that we were all traveling with you. you two are missed right now down to the core. i think it is only just now hitting us that you are not on a month-long vacation and coming back soon. kisses and polenta pucks, m.]

Friday, July 19 : Guess Where We Are
Okay all you little R.B.'s out there!

First, I would like to apologize to all of you for this group email thing. It is the most efficient way right now though. Second, if I have left anyone off the list that needs to be, please let me know.

We have just arrived in Sydney Australia today, 6am on the 20th of July to be exact. We lost the 19th as we crossed the international date line, we ceased to exist! The good side is that we will get two of the same dates going back, flashback to "Groundhog Day". Anyways, the flight was unbelievable just because it took six hours to cross the states, Boston to San Francisco, and another fourteen to get to Australia. The later of which was in complete darkness the entire way! We got a total of six shitty movies to watch and I was served a vegan meal which I like to call polenta pucks in pita bread, that was a little alliteration for all you smarty pants out there! (Did I spell that right? Operating on very little sleep here)

So we showed up in Sydney and were really surprised by how small the airport seemed. Podunk was what I believe my buddy Jeffrey called it! From there we took a train to Kirribilli where we had a hotel reserved. We were at home immediatly as there was a personal note with a key for our room hanging on the door of the hotel welcoming us to Sydney. The owner of the hotel, Mary, is probably going to be our mother figure for the following week, she is so great! We had a liesurly breakfast this morning and I already tried "Vegemite" which seems to be a very dense yeast mixture, it spreads like nutello and is a nasty brown color, I decided I needed to develop a taste for it because it is such a big local thing but I haven't had something so icky in a long time, flashback to polenta pucks in pita! (insert Wayne's World fuzz out)

We have been hiking around Sydney since then, it feels like it should be around 9pm now but a glance to the clock tells me that it is only nearing 3pm. Rebbie is tuckered. We have already hiked from Kirribilli, which looks across the bay to the Sydney Opera House, accross the gigantic Harbour Bridge into downtown Sydney. Through a beautiful Saturday market selling Aborigine art and photos, blown glass, roasted corn, amazing furniture made from local woods, and all the while the market reaks of yummy spices from a local vender selling whole spices.

From there we hiked to the Sydney Opera House, just a hike around though, we will try to take a tour inside in a few days. Then off to the Botanical Gardens. We actually skirted the gardens too, I think we are waiting to really be able to appreciate it after some sleep. I think we are starting to understand the layout of the city now, a lot less intimidating than the maps try to lead us to believe. Sydney seems rather smaller than we imagined. And this pleases me. I love the architecture this far. Such and eclectic mix of times and styles. Its quite yummy.

Other than that... Rebel got hungry and her pal Jeffrey desperatley grabbed for the guide book for the first time yet and led her to an amazing vegetarian chinese kitchen. First Australian food experience bad, second excellent. We are 0 for 0 folks. Looks like the little veggie will fare pretty good overall (even without the bowls of grass her pops likes to mow for her!)

Now it is time to rastle up my pal and make him take me back to the hotel so we can get some sleep. A couple of personal notes first though... Thank you all you stabbies for the icing on the cake of my California experience. It makes me start crying every time I think of that send off you gave us and all the beautiful things we have shared in the past three years. (Keep it short and sweet Rebbie!) The only way I could have really shown you all just how much you mean to me is if I tore my heart from my chest and threw it on the table for you all that evening. I love you all. To my east coast family...I miss you already. Jordan with your little yellow blanky stuffed in your mouth. Splashing with Austin the wet little seal in the water. I will see you very, very soon. Momma, Papa, my beautiful sissies, I love you. Jen try to keep those crazy pimentos away from Missy...Shawn your on my "Big S" list because Jeffrey threw your sweet little "Turner's Trash" comment at me today and he still hasn't changed out of those Massachusetts fireman shirts yet!

Now I go because I am leaking again...my love goes out to all of you...

Rebecca Leigh (A.K.A. Rat Bastard)


Sunday, July 21 : G'day
Hey there my beauties!

We are on day three of our travels here in Sydney. It is a lovely place. Jeffrey has always said that I would never survive in a city because I am always smiling and striking up conversations with strangers...this is the city for me! People here are wonderful. They look you right in the eye, offer help without being asked and are very genuine when asking how you are, and they never have something more interesting to look at as they pass you on the street. I love it.

So, day two of our travels took us into Darling Harbour after a leisurely breakfast and yummy soy lattes. We must be putting about 7 or 8 hiking miles on a day. First stop, was the Sydney aquarium. They have an exhibit on the Great Barrier Reef, it was lovely being able to touch and see all the corals, fish and jellies. Touch the corals, see the fish and jellies (please remember that everything here will kill you!) Especially the Moon Jelly which was lit with what appeared to be some kind of black light making the jellies seem eerily irridescent as they floated through the water. My favorite part, however, the sharks. You could walk through this glass tunnel, and it felt like you were in the ocean with all these menacing creatures around you. Sharks, Rays, Turtles, and these huge glass sucking creatures (can't recall what they were). It was amazing to be able to watch every inch of a monstrous shark as it cruised overhead.

After that we had some lunch and Jeff harassed a bunch of seagulls that were begging bites. Then off to meet a pal I used to work with in California, Jamie, who is also here in Sydney. We spent the better part of the afternoon listening to schwanky jazz and sipping local brews on the harbour outside of the Sydney Opera House, and what a sunset! We were told to stay out of the Harbour because it is full of sharks and that makes me wonder about the people I see kyaking in it in the mornings. I am watching very closely but haven't seen anyone go down yet!

Today hasn't been much more exciting than chore day as we are opening accounts and contacting EDAW for work, though we did have a rather pretty Ferry ride through the harbour this morning, still looking for shark fins!

So, I will leave you for now with a couple of interesting observations I have made here. Well, interesting for me (and probably my pal Marya, because she will want to put these on her beautiful website as keepers!), but then again I am my biggest fan! We noticed a car named the ka2, that makes it the ka-ka car, can't imagine that it is a very big seller. Secondly, I saw my favorite billboard, it stated..."California has issued six driving licenses to people named Jesus Christ". I don't really know what it was in reference to and honestly don't care, it's just funny!

And then....I love you all very much and hope these letters aren't going to be too much of a clog to your inboxes because they will be coming on a regular basis...and no you can't unsubscribe!

My love you all of you, Rebecca

P.s. thanks for the lovely responses, we love to hear how you are all doing on your side of the world, you know who you are!

a fabulous 24 hours

cholla (pronounced choy-yah -- which is a type of mean little cactus plant that grows in the arid arizona and does not at all represent our wonderful and giving friend and co-op mate) is moving to phoenix. and friday she turned 50. so the house has had july 20 marked on the calendar as a party day for a few months. she decided early spring not to make the eastern move until after her birthday so that she could be surrounded by friends and loved ones.

so saturday (the day after her birthday and the actual birthday of current co-op mate michael) finally rolled around and we did our part to clean the house and take the tables outside to line them up for a big feast. out came the christmas lights and the candles and the old-converted-stand-alone fireplace we use for outdoor parties. and in came former housemates from outta town. and friends. and then more and more friends. some with tri-tip to cook up and cakes to eat and bottles and bottles of wine.

it was one of those surprising events that blossomed into both an old-friend reunion and a new friend introduction. interesting happy people, great food, perfect weather etc etc etc.

and finally we got that geggy tah house concert that i mentioned last summer. tommy (who is the tah) and two friends (one in gt, the other not), quietly set up their microphones and seats. and somewhere around 11:30 we got a very intimate and sweet living room show. it started with them coming into the living room via a very long hallway, unbeknownst to us. slowly we began to hear the horns and the makeshift drums (a steve austin 6 million dollar man metal lunch box and an "elite" plastic playmate). this segued into the guys taking their seats (tommy's seat was an upended, opened, old-style suitcase attached to kick pedals of a drum kit -- so he sat on the suitcase and used it as a drum at the same time) and the songs beginning.

they played new stuff, using us as a practice hall. at one point they asked for poems or bits and peices of writing we had done that they would turn into a song on the spot, so i offered up a verse i'd written while my grandmother was so very sick a few weeks ago.

it was great and it lasted for hours. and intimate. we were all so close to each other and tommy would just look at you for almost entire songs while he sang. billy and lewis played almost the whole time with their eyes shut. and there were stories between the songs and we even had a heckler (that would by a wee bit past sobriety miss maya, practicing her version of beligerant and onery (sp?) and then flashing the smile that commands forgiveness, all in a mere one-second time frame).

the house (audience) was transfixed. we soaked it up. we pinched ourselves. we laughed at the stories. we made tea when theirs ran out. we dimmed lights. we shouted out requests. and we memorized the mood and the sound and the allaroundness of it for our inner memory scrap books.

this morning tommy was still here as were the former housemates and friendsweethearts. we talked in the den for more and more hours, almost missing breakfast. not minding missing the paper. sipping coffee and chatting about everything from heather's brush with ickyness while living in new zealand (scary stalker stories) to jan's new life in tajikistan to custom-designed swimming pools to living in italy to favorite books and movies and the other whatnots of the house. slowly around noon we meandered to the park to watch ryan practice capoeira then to the palm for a matinee of lovely and amazing.

overall a fabulous twenty-four hours.

plus i got some song writing tips from tommy (make sure your songs have hips, which i may explain later). i did get to play one of my songs with tommy, and played two others while on the deck before the livingroom concert began. and ryan busted out his beedybow (how do you spell that? brazilian one-string instrument you play with a finger and a rock) for an impromptu capoeira call and repeat.

now the house is napping and later we will venture for sushi to see if we can prolong the magic just a few more hours.

today is the birthday of hunter s. thompson and nelson mandela.

i know this because i was a little late for work this morning, so writer's almanac was on as i sped off to work. i love the writer's almanac and i think garrison keiler is pretty great, too.

the poem today put a lump in my throat. which is kind of a nice way to start the day: a little tender and a little more open. here it is:

No Longer A Teenager

my daughter, who turns twenty tomorrow,
has become truly independent.
she doesn't need her father to help her
deal with the bureaucracies of schools,
hmo's, insurance, the dmv.
she is quite capable of handling
landlords, bosses, and auto repair shops.
also boyfriends and roommates.
and her mother.

frankly it's been a big relief.
the teenage years were often stressful.
sometimes, though, i feel a little useless.

but when she drove down from northern California
to visit us for a couple of days,
she came through the door with the

biggest, warmest hug in the world for me.
and when we all went out for lunch,
she said, affecting a little girl's voice,
"i'm going to sit next to my daddy,"
and she did, and slid over close to me
so i could put my arm around her shoulder
until the food arrived.

i've been keeping busy since she's been gone,
mainly with my teaching and writing,
a little travel connected with both,
but i realized now how long it had been
since i had felt deep emotion.

when she left i said, simply,
"i love you,"
and she replied, quietly,
"i love you too."
you know it isn't always easy for
a twenty-year-old to say that;
it isn't always easy for a father.

literature and opera are full of
characters who die for love:
i stay alive for her.

— Gerald Locklin from The Life Force Poems (Water Row Press).

feminism, defined... for macker [1]

imagine living in a world where there is no domination, where females and males are not alike or even always equal, but where a vision of mutuality is the ethos shaping our interaction. imagine living in a world where we can all be who we are, a world of peace and possibility.....

"Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. This was a definintion of feminism I offered in Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center more than 10 years ago. ...


"I liked this definition because it did not imply that men were the enemy. By naming sexism as the problem it went directly to the heart of the matter.

"Practically, it is a definition which implies that all sexist thinking and action is the problem, whether those who perpetrate it are female or male, child or adult. ...

"As all advocates of feminist politics know, most people do not understand sexism, or if they do, they think it is not a problem.

"Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male.

"Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most people learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media."

-- bell hooks, feminism is for everybody (my paragraph breaks -- for emphasis).

1. i can't help but read this stuff and think of macker. a.) i think he is a feminist at heart. (smile); b.) i think he doesn't understand the real goals and meaning and history of feminism; c.) i truly believe that these ideas (of equality) frighten so many people in such a way that they don't even understand that they are frightened. they act out ... but might not even understand that they are acting out. so we have people labeling all feminists as man haters. but in my experience this couldn't be further than the truth.

bishop's peak kick butt boot camp

silhouettes. this one is very much what it was like this morning.
typical pre-sunset view. what you'll usually see.
panorama one.
panorama two.


this morning, diana, heather and i trudged up bishop's with more energy than yesterday. the early morning saps some of our energy. but going up through the dense damp fog was all worth it. at the top we were suddenly above the fog, an island. the rooftop of san luis. the sun was still coming up and was a bit on the same level as the fog bank. this created a fantastic circular rainbow across the fog top. it was gorgeous.

overheards and working out

so tonight was my first appointment with my personal trainer. my first personal training appointment ever. and it was much more fun than i expected. i don't know what i expected, really. but i learned a lot — from technique and new exercises to figuring it out that working out at the gym can actually be fun. i've been a cardio girl all my life. have belonged to this gym for four or five years. and haven't ever really worked out with weights there. and it was fun.

about three quarters of the ways into the work out and in the middle of working out the upperbody...

personal trainer, becca: okay. have you ever done a skull crusher?
marya: no. um. wait... is that a mixed drink?

;)

my personal trainer was great and i'm not just saying that cuz she is my little sister, rebecca ann. i was really impressed. we had a good time and i got a good workout. and that's saying a lot because number one, i can be a little critical. and number two, i was exhausted. i'd climbed bishops last night when i got off of work and then first thing this morning. worked all day. hadn't had dinner. just plum tuckered.

but by the end of the session i was happy. and it was good to have sister time and a good work out simultaneously.

and about the bishop's double duty stint. that was really unplanned and unusual. after work yesterday diana, heather and i went to hike it and were just marvelling at what a great hike it was — fun and beautiful. and good to be in each other's company. yadda yadda yadda. and some how that turned into our Bishop's Peak Kick Butt Boot Camp. We're going to hike it every morning for 21 days. And that was starting the next day. So we did it. And lemme just say... it was easy last night and pretty damn painful this morning. Ai-yi-yi.

But I had a great day all around. So I'm gonna head off tomorrow morning too.

Meanwhile you can look at two different panorama views of Bishops — an ancient volcanic core and my favorite of the seven sisters.

nigerian women win



good news: the nigerian women who had taken over the Chevron Nigeria terminal eight days ago demanding employment for their families and investment in the local community, have won. i love this story. triumph of the people against Big Business. triumph of third-world nation over the overbearing states. triumph of culture over boring blase watered down beige business mores. triumph of spirit over greed.

overheard

marya: wow. did you know that 10% of the people of South Africa are HIV positive?
jaxon: that's really bad. they should do something about that.
marya: they are; they're creating a new muppet.

*********************************************
hmmm... well that's sure to make a few conservatives upset, hiv positive muppets leading to premarital sex and all.

sfgate.com seems to think there's a new teletubby in the works as well:
"In somewhat loosely related news, the creators of the Teletubbies are planning on introducing a new character to the wildly popular toddler program next season, tentatively named Zonk, who will allegedly be a mullato lesbian dwarf quadriplegic encephalitic autistic scoliotic genius waterskiing dentally challenged philatelist with multiple STDs and a wandering eye."

*********************************************

and on a not related other note, i've been incredibly grumpy since returning from my 9-day meditation retreat. i can't explain it. but people's speech -- meaning sarcasm or even their opinions -- is sending me over the edge. i don't get it. usually i'm pretty easy going. but everything's been bugging me for about a week now. i think i used up all my love and compassion while on the gomden. damn. i even got into a semi-argument with a friend at Music in the Plaza. he was stating this ... maybe sometimes mostly true ... stereotype. but his tone came off as very condescending and patronizing in a very innocent way. he probably didn't realize that he was conveying either of those things...

he said that it is impossible to empathize with parents unless you are one yourself. i disagree. i mean, probably most of the time that could be true. but to say that no one could empathize without being a parent seemd like a very limited view. then he went on to explain the difference between empahty and sympathy to me. i'm not sure which insulted me more -- the english lesson or being so pigeonholed.

m.

overheards

pat sent in a cool photography link from norway. great pictures. i was going to use one of the postcards as my wallpaper. i found three or four i really liked and asked jaxon's opinion. i'm not sure if i've mentioned before, but jaxon is black. half-black. i'm half mexican. separately we're incredibly PC. put us together and we're a hate crime.

the first was full of cotton bales and with one lone man sitting in the middle.
marya: what do you think jax?
jaxon: is that cotton?
marya: yeah...
jaxon: and there's a black man?
marya: yeah, but...
jaxon: but nuthin.

the second was a date field in cairo.
luke: hey jaxon i think there's a black man in there too.
jaxon: tsch.

the third was a lagoon with eery bare trees.
marya: look jaxon, if you look closely you see a man in a boat.
jaxon: yeah. it's probably a black man.
jaxon: is there a motor? no.
jaxon: he's probably a black man, buck naked, bucktoothed. they probably call him buckwheat.

jaxon suggested i use the green heart in the marshland... how could i say no? soon i'm going to change to the camels and then to the date fields, though.

one nation, under canada

from the New Yorker
Under where?
After a federal appeals court ruled last week that it is unconstitutional to make schoolchildren recite the phrase "one nation under god" in the Pledge of Allegiance, we placed a call to Robin Williams, to hear his thoughts on the decision. "Why don't they change it to 'one nation under Canada'?" he said. "Or 'over Mexico'? That way, everybody's happy."

from Matt Groening
I plead alignment to the flakes, of the untitled snakes of a merry cow, and to the republicans, for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

from email
I plead ignorance and tend to lag
a modern son of America
and in this place I take a stand
one person usurping gods
individual with a well ment out breath for all

from a different email
i grew up before Under God was added / shoot / not only that but in the beginning we began reciting the pledge with our hand over our heart(s)
at the "I Pledge Allegiance" part and then thrust the arm out towards the flag for the rest of the recitation

then someone noticed how Germans saluted Heil Hitler

boy scouts love god, but find the pledge a little boring
i wasn't there, but i heard that the boyscouts marching in the Cayucos 4th of July parade did the pledge of allegiance, kinda in quiet monotone, until they shouted "UNDER GOD!!" sigh. silly earnest boyscouts. i'm sure their parents were proud.

before & after

jaxon sent me four pictures of his car; before and after shots. the woman in the third photo is his wife, tiara.

little wings & baba birdman

i'm in love with everyone and everything they've ever done — kyle field

currently i'm listening to song clips of little wings, the birth child of kyle field, a friend and former co-op mate. kyle is the type of artist we all day dream of being: wandering, creating, believing and living the life. he turned me on to uncle tupelo years ago over breakfast at big sky. i'll never forget it. they quickly became one of my favorite bands. he also encouraged me to write songs and play my guitar. one of my favorite nights ever was a bunch of us gathered around a big fire in the backyard -- for dan's birthday -- and kyle playing guitar and his friend playing fiddle and the rest of us crooning where we could.

kyle is a gifted wordsmith... a true poet. take a listen to sand canyon.

kyle and matt ward (another former co-op mate) used to have a band called rodriguez; the type of local band that people continue to talk about long after the band broke up and the members moved outta town (mostly to portland). matt's latest cd was featured on npr last fall.

tonight kyle is playing with rob, yes another old co-op mate. somehow rob's moniker has morphed (devolved?) from bobby birdman to baba birdman. i've never heard him perform, but once greatly offended him (and others at the table) when i mentioned that organs do not belong in rock bands. ahem. i stand corrected [insert grin here].

tonight i'll venture to two dogs cafe to catch both little wings and baba birdman in morro bay. they play san luis tomorrow, rumored to be a strolling and singing show. once i saw kyle perform an entire gig with a mexican blanket covering his head (the alt-folky miles davis approach?) and another time kyle stood still in the middle of farmer's market holding a makeshift handmade sign that urged people to "settle down." so strolling and singing sounds good and interesting. if you are sloward on friday, definitely check it out.

overheard

jaxon's back after a few days off recovering from a pretty serious car accident. car is totalled, which would be a hard thing for most of us to deal with. but you don't understand. jaxon is all about his car. and it was a pretty cool car, coming from a person who's not really a hot-rod girl or anything. but jaxon's car was the baddest of the bad. if a cartoonist was going to draw a picture of what a bad-ass car would look like, they mighta drawn jaxy's super cool firebird all tricked out with airvents on top and that doesn't even begin to do justice to jaxon's car, who's custom license plates read "raaptor."

jaxon (working on a new web page): santa fe girls film school... says they're helping girls get to hollywood.
--pause--
jaxon: i can help girls go hollywood.
marya: yer sick.
jaxon: hey, i was in an accident.

jaxon brought in the R.I.P. pictures of raaptor. the front end is totally ripped right off. the t-tops are crushed and sunken in and of course the glass is all gone. not one part of the car isn't touched. except where jaxon was sitting. the car spun and spun and flipped and flipped and finally went down an embankment. and jaxon walked out with not one scratch on his pretty face.

it wasn't his time. and we're all glad.

meanwhile, people are trying to buy houses

ben and luke took jaxon out to lunch to welcome him back and hear all the gory details. on the way back from the restaurant, ben tells the other two about how hard it is to find a house for sale, much less one in a good neighborhood.

luke: but what if the house wasn't nice?
ben: i'd take a dump in a nice neighborhood!
--pause--
peals of laughter.

and that folks is the end of the no-potty-humor on emdot. oh, what is the world coming to?

today's link: alternate flags

what's been on my mind lately...

that blogging is ridiculous and i should take my web site down. i'm not sure i understand the point, and yet i've been doing this for over two years.

that "opinions" and the american obsession with being opinionated is just a great guise at keeping us from the important things: loving one another and realizing that we are much more similar than different. imagine if we put all of our "opinion" energy into "getting along with one another" energy or in just 'being quiet" energy... i think you would see a peaceful revolution happen.

that we (americans) need to get back in touch with nature. this goes most heavily to christians and anyone living in orange county. (wait...was that an opinion?).

that for me, personally, meditation is a strange magical painreliever that seems to simplify my whole life. i don't understand how it works, but it is nothing short of extraordinary.

"There was none of this separation of the sacred and the secular: both spiritual and physical well-being were granted at the same time, because — and this is most important — the physical and the spiritual are two dimensions of the same coin."
– Thomas Berry, American Catholic monk
from The Sun Magazine

my two favorite magazines have similar names: the sun magazine and the shambhala sun. both worth a look, a read, a subscription.

overheard words of wisdom

rem: that's okay, i'll recover. that's what happens; you recover.

maybe you had to be there, but i thought rem basically summed things up quite nicely.